Should Kathleen Wynne Tell Our Kids About Sex?

The answer to the question “should Kathleen Wynne tell our kids about sex” is, actually, that she shouldn’t but I am happy that her government is finally getting on with the revision of this important course of study. Sex is one of the driving forces of nature that exists in us all. In some homes, having ‘that conversation’ is not only routine…it is part of ongoing education. The kids in those homes are lucky…but they are few and far between.

There are those who say that, with sex, one-size-fits-all (no pun intended) is an inappropriate approach to dealing with our sexuality and that it’s for parents, not teachers, to confront. But most of us come from homes, regardless of background, where parents really didn’t…and still don’t. I have two adult children. My wife and I were both open people. But, despite the fact we always responded to questions, the more nuanced aspects of sexuality still got away from us. And that was pre-Internet! Today, nothing escapes kids who want information. “Porn” is the single most searched term on all of Google…does anyone really think that’s only about deprived adult males?

So, given the Internet provides very graphic and readily available material on every normal aspect and all aberrations of sexuality, what is a parent to do? And what is a school system to do? Both are faced with an unending stream of questions kids won’t actually ask and answers most of us didn’t even know were expected or which we’re ill-equipped to provide.

The new course of school study will deal with nomenclature; same-sex relationships; masturbation; oral sex…and it works its way into a lot of material that scares many adults as much as it might overwhelm youngsters, if learned in the wrong environments or in the wrong way. Those charged with imparting the detail in school settings will not have the loving relationship of parent-and-child to lean on, but they will have a professional ability to speak and listen along with an intuitive sense about how to deal with youthful responses.

When I was young, the boys’ gym teacher taught us what passed for sex education. He was as embarrassed standing up at the front of the room drawing a bad chalk picture of a penis on the blackboard as my father was trying to have the ‘birds-and-bees’ conversation with me! My buddies and I laughed at both efforts, well-intentioned as they were. And I tell this story by way of pointing out that our “sixties” parents behaved in precisely the same way as millennial parents are now. “Don’t you teach my kid about that…it’s my job”. That was the standard line…and I am pretty sure I heard several parents use those very words on last evening’s TV news. By the way, parents may elect to opt their kids out…mine couldn’t.

I believe that what most parents worry about most is bad relationships and abnormal sexual habit patterns developing that are NOT part of an education they can offer their kids. ‘Sexting’…for example, sending digital photos out over the Internet has really caused pain, even death. A young girl is talked into taking a naked “selfie” and sending it to a boyfriend sincerely believing he’s the only person who’ll ever see it…when the boy fires it off to the world where it resides in cyberspace forever, the girl is mortified…and we’ve all read the horror stories of what can ensue…has ensued. Honestly, what parent can teach kids about that?? It didn’t exist when they were young! But the schools are addressing it.

Some parents (and this can be culturally based) don’t want teachers discussing homosexuality. Yet, most kids attend classes where a fellow student has two moms or two dads. This is a first generation phenomenon. How do parents reasonably address this legally supported orientation? They can’t.

Will our schools (supported by our government) do a perfect job of properly addressing what our kids need to know? I doubt it. They don’t even teach decent math anymore. But, as with everything, we need a starting point. I do not often applaud government…certainly not this government, one that has its hands full with all manner of difficulty. But I do applaud it for trying to bring an aspect of education into line with the times.

If parents and morally inhibited leaders want to preach otherwise, it’s a free society. Go and demonstrate or call your MPP. Meanwhile, let’s get on with something that’s long overdue.

Peter